Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Changes and How it Change You

I've been really busy I just realized I have to write something down before I get lost in my new busy world. The MRS world. I'm like "gotta write now, gotta write now!" I have been writing couple of stuff about myself and my love-life. I thought some of you have already read it and I hope it made you think positively or helped you in a way. My last Blog was about The Social Media and how it helps me find My Love. We'll let's fast forward a little. After 6 months of getting to know each other we Tied The Knot on 2nd of June 2014. We are now married for 2 months. Amazing!

Two days ago my husband asked me "Darling, if you would be able to change one thing in me, what is it?" I heard it clearly and those silly and annoying things he does over the period of few months living together has gone to an auto-rewind in my head as if it’s a commercial on TV. I smiled and answered "Nothing My Love. I cannot change those. You aren't perfect neither do I. You've been very patient in me, I am grateful for that. I love you the way you are!" 

As cheesy as it may sound, Yep! I said it. Finally, I have admitted verbally to my husband that those annoying and silly habits are not my main concern in our marriage.

It wasn't always like that. I was once a little startle how my husband miss the laundry basket for his socks. I mean really, a few centimeter from each other. Sometimes I ask myself why there are so many people running chasing one ball on TV and why I am not watching some Drama Series. And one morning he breaks and scrambles the egg yolk I wanted to eat sunny-side-up. I did not complain because I thought "Oh! He will change." 

Oh he did! After sometime it’s not only the socks that he misses for the laundry basket; the boxers and tees too. And because the World Cup is ON, my husband has to stay up late till 1am to watch those people who seem to be tirelessly-chasing the ball inside the "idiot box". The egg yolk is still scrambled but now it’s not too boring as my husband put a little color in it. Vegetables! These little things mentioned is just a few of my favorite silly & annoying thing he does. That actually makes me secretly smile. You ask why? 

Here's why...

My husband might miss the socks, boxers and tees to the laundry basket but he does the laundry without me asking. Especially when he knew I am busy mending my monthly-sickness. Great helper! He also volunteered to work on the ironing as I get tantrums every time I try to iron. Shame on me!

My husband loves football. It is his sport. I realized it gives him tremendous joy watching his favorite team scoring and winning. Once he took me out to watch a match and I actually enjoyed it. He showed me; it is fun to watch sports; outdoor or indoor. A very good mentor!

My husband might make the eggs the way I do not want it to be. But he tries to cook breakfast for me while I sleep-in. He gives me time to sleep more specially on the weekends while he gets-up early to prepare some healthy breakfast. He actually let me taste some-good-food I never have tried before; He's a great cook!

You see. I am so glad I did not complain when he misses the socks, when he watches his football team on TV and when he scrambled the egg yolk. Just because he could have done that in the best intentions he might have. Something that I would have not known if I did not keep quiet, observe and eat the scrambled eggs!

Of course sometimes it annoys me. But nagging over that silly stuff is not going to give me happiness.
One day at a time I tell and explain to my husband how I would like the dirty laundry to be in the basket. I reminded him that sports are good but he has to stick on his sleeping pattern because he drives me to work before his and I do not want him tired. And I love eating sunny-side-up eggs with just salt & pepper on it because that's easier for me to chew and swallow food in the morning. 

Things aren't always what we expect it to be but there are good things in it.
Just keep looking!

Sunday, June 8, 2014

The Social Media

Do you have a Facebook Page? Or WhatsApp? Or other social media application installed in your mobile phone? Well I do! And why I asked? Simply because some of whom reading this might get a feeling they're/ve been through this... CURIOSITY OUT OF BOREDOM!

Let me tell you how my love story starts.
Less than six months ago I was lying in bed. Quiet. Holding my mobile phone. Scrolling. Searching. For something. Or nothing. I was just curious for no particular purpose and damn bored at the same time. It was almost midnight. The Zzzz fairy is not to be seen anywhere. When suddenly I remember I have to check-back on one post from Virgin radio's Facebook page and I have to read it. So I click the page and scroll down. The page is colorful and busy with ads and pictures. This is normal and entertaining. Scroll down once more. Oops! Wait. A lady wrote something. Click Profile. Scroll down a little bit. Hmmm! She does not interest me. But her Facebook Cover Photo does. Aha! There is this guy who posed next to her with a beach-like backdrop behind them. She looks smiley and all. He doesn't look happy for some reason. Oh! He is tag on the photo. "Goodness! Let me click and see who this guy is." Click! Well, ok. They're in a relationship. Whoa! "Big thing." I whispered; as I never have changed my Facebook Relationship Status since I set-it-up in 2007. Anyway, I scrolled down a bit. And a little bit more. And Whoopsie! He is giving away his email address and mobile number because as what he mentioned he is terminating his Facebook profile page. "Well. That is good. Another productive person produced by a terminated Facebook Page" I said to myself. But wait! I have to send a message before it’s too late. But let me look at this person's profile once again before I send him an SMS. Timeline gives away a little behavioral information about this guy; aside from some foreign language statuses and posts there is a bit drama posted to his wall. Nothing really there for me on his Timeline. Maybe About could give me some. Ah! So his birthday is in a month. Nice. What a coincidence? "Now I have to add one more person on my Gift & Greet List" I thought. For some reason I got sore of looking at his Relationship Status. I mean, I do not know either of them but I do not see why they are together. "She must've been good in something" my Evil Twin whispered. "Nah! Not my business!" as I dismissed what my Evil Twin just whispered while changing from About to Photos and started flicking from one photo to another. "Awww! It hurts my eyes. Better sleep now." I snap. "But let me add him on my Contacts. Whoa! He is on WhatsApp. Well, perfect. Now's the time to send him a message...." 

 " :) "

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

How to Deal With Difficult People | By: Sabrina Alexis

The 24 Hour Rule
It is imperative to wait 24 hours before reacting when we feel angry. This is because:
- natural consequences will take care of the problem
- you can calm down and come up with a different perspective
- the issue is no longer important

The Elephant Rule
Picture that a huge, fat elephant is coming your way. What do you do? You move away and let the elephant go by. The same is true when someone negative, angry or bitter is coming your way. Instead of getting in his way, just move and let him go by. Don't provoke or try to argue with him because he might stamp you.

The Madhouse Rule
While walking, you see a sign on a building that says "Madhouse" and for some reason you hear a man shouting from one of the windows saying: "HEY!! You man, are so crazy!"

Do you really believe him? Do you take it personally? Do you let it bother your? Or do you ignore him and think: "Poor guy, he is locked in the madhouse and yet he thinks that I'm the crazy one."

You might find it humorous or might even feel compassion, right?

Well, you could have the same attitude towards other people, especially with strangers, people that hardly know you, or people in the street. For examples: why bother to react when another driver insults you? Or when a coworker is trying to push your buttons and you know it? This would be a good rule to apply.

The Hospital Rule
Imagine a very sick person that is lying on a  hospital bed, hooked up with so many tubes that it's almost impossible for him to move. You are sitting on the other side of the room feeling very thirsty. You notice that there is a glass of water right next to the sick person.

What do you do? Do you ask him to pass you the glass? After all it is just a small glass, no big deal, right? It is obvious that you would not bother him; you know better than that because he's so sick! You don't expect him to pass the glass to you and you don't get angry or take it personally.

And that is exactly what you should do when you are with people that cannot understand what you need, or are incapable of doing, saying, or giving what you would want. It is much better if you do not ask them, and do not expect them to do something for you. 

The Blind Man Rule
Have you realized what happens when you see a blind person alone trying to cross the street or standing in the middle of a crowded place? Somehow, you feel that you are blessed because you have your sight to see and guide you.

You can see where you are going and what to avoid. If you see that this person needs help you would probably approach him and offer your assistance, right? You would not hesitate to help if you were needed.

Well, in life sometimes we meet people that come across as difficult but underneath the surface, they are really blind even if they have sight. Yes, there are people who have limitations, a disadvantage, who have been hurt emotionally, who feel lost or damaged.

If we could only understand them and feel compassionate, we would then try to help them instead of being hostile.

Probably, and without looking for it, we would get more than what we gave. Not to mention that in this way, we improve the relationship, sweeten someone's life, and improve the flavor of our life.

The President Rule:
Who holds the most important position in the government? "The President" Who is the person that has the highest position in a corporation or firm? "The President or the CEO"

How do we treat people that are in these high positions?

We treat them with extra consideration. We try hard to be polite and to be extremely careful with everything we say or do. Otherwise we could get into trouble. Therefore, we don't make fun of them, we treat them with respect, we try to be helpful, we address them with a good tone of voice, gentle words, and do our best to be on their good side. In other words, we behave our best.

The Bee Rule
Sometimes, whether we like it or not, there are people that try hard to provoke us. No matter what we do there are overbearing, like a bee buzzing around out heads. And when a bee stings, it really hurts.

With these people it is easy to lose control and react in a negative way.

What do we do then?

The key here is PREVENTION. We protect ourselves by being prepared. We tell ourselves beforehand that no matter what the other does, we will not let him/her push our buttons.

We'll remain calm and deal with the situation without giving away our power, without being in a reactive mode.

In an encounter with a difficult person, remember:
a. Many times you have to deal with that person whether you want it or not.
b. Don't be judgmental; everybody has his own issues.
c. Find the good intentions in others. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
d. The more effort you put into getting along with another, the greater the benefit for yourself.
e. Treat others the way you would like to be treated
f. Learn, keep, and frequently use the 7 rules
g. Remember, the person that has to change is the one who can and is eager to make the change.
h. Keep in mind that being complacent and sometimes giving in does not mean you are relinquishing your power.
i. Remember many people are just not aware of their behavior. Nobody wants to think or himself as being mean or difficult. After all, everybody wants to have a good life.

Recipes for Life:

1 cup of self-control
1 bunch of perspective
1 slice of purpose/target
3 drops of acceptance
1 pinch of noble eyes

Cleverness, endurance, and hope

1. You always have a choice to control yourself.
Nobody can make you feel, say, or do something that you don't want. You are your own chef, therefore you are responsible for your actions.
2. The only person that you can change is yourself.
When you accept and change your behavior and/or thoughts, you can relate to others in a new and fresh way. Trying to change others is a fruitless task, with dashed hopes and full of disappointment
3. At all times remember your goal. These will empower and provide strength, patience, and a clear point of view, helping you to act calmly and wisely.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Are You Addicted to Approval? | By: Sabrina Alexis

I want to talk about an epidemic that is reaching an all-time high. It's called AA (Approval Addiction), and luckily, you can overcome in it less than 12 steps.

In this day and age, if you cook a nice dinner you take a pic and post in on Instagram; if you have a cool sense of style, you start a personal style blog; if you do a good deed, you tweet about it or post about it on Facebook. There is very little that's kept private and personal and as a result, the vast majority of us have become addicted to approval.

I'm not saying I'm immune. I will admit that if I write what I consider to be a great article and it gets a lackluster response (or worse, no response at all!), I feel a little bummed. And if an article I wrote gets an extremely positive response, I'm ecstatic.

There's nothing wrong with feeling happy when something you did gets praised. The problem emerges when you rely too heavily on the approval of others and not enough on how you feel about yourself.

And of course, this addiction can negatively affect your relationship.

Having a case of AA inevitably leads to neediness because you constantly seek out praise and validation for everything you do
. You aren't able to give freely in your relationship because all you really want is him to notice you. You're not giving for the sake of giving, you're giving for the sake to getting attention.

If you're addicted to approval, then you feel like nothing until someone tells you you're something. You're ugly until you're boyfriend says you're beautiful; you're incompetent until your boss says you did a great job on a project; you're not good enough until someone, anyone, pays you a compliment.

I think you can clearly see that when left unchecked, AA can do some serious damage. For one, it puts you right at the mercy of everyone you meet.

Fortunately, overcoming this addiction is relatively simple. The solution is to try and do favors for people where you don't get acknowledged.

Here's an example. When I was in college, my dorm only had a few dryer machines. If you left your stuff in there for too long, you could be sure someone would take all the stuff out and put it on the nearest surface (or sometimes on the floor!).

One time I got caught up doing something and wasn't able to go down to retrieve my laundry the minute it was done. I went downstairs expecting to find my laundry scattered all over the floor, and instead was very surprised (and touched) to find that my stuff had been neatly folded and placed on a table near the machine.

I have no idea who folded my stuff, but to this day I remain very awed by him/her. That is a perfect example of doing something nice without an expectation of recognition (unless the person went on Facebook and told everyone about her kind deed!).

I'm not saying you should go out and be saints. Just do something, anything, without expecting a pat on the back or an 'atta girl.

When you do this, you'll learn to find satisfaction within yourself. You'll learn to be happy with yourself, without relying on others to perk you up.

There are all sorts of ways to go about this, depending on your life circumstances and what you do, so just find something that fits. I'm telling you, it can be quite transformative and can have a huge impact on you and your relationship.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The World Wide Web and its Purpose

I have been anxious about a decision that has gotten me into crying last night. Tell you the truth I am very much happy and excited but a part of me is a lot more of scared. I fall asleep wondering what would make me feel more comfortable doing "it" aside from my Fianc├ęs’ convincing words "I am here for you!" and my MIL's sweet messages; "Whatever makes you happy I will be happy to support you; just do it and enjoy!"

When I wake-up today I look at myself and talk a little. I said "You can do this! You always get through. Do not be scared. Remember that what you feel now will fade away and what will be left is something that you will cherish for a long period of time... Do it!"

At work I came across an article that solidified my decision. 

You may read it HERE.

The questions are impeccable and just what I was looking for.

I am just glad I get to read the article and said YES to all of it. Unbelievable how the World Wide Web could help you -- from cooking to making decisions; if you know what I mean.